1/31/08

TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEN

Okay, the Arctic wind I mentioned yesterday came on us liek a vengeance here in Michigan. Five hundred schools closed across the state and we got a pretty big state. With the wind chill it was around negative fifteen degrees outside.
Yeah, so I decided to walk to work.
YEah, I know, crazy, but I had on sufficient layers to make sure I was warm and toasty. I had my huge scarf and really warm gloves so, coupled with my beard I had part of one cheek get a little chilly. Not to damned shabby if you ask me. Plus, I had my mp3 player so all was well in the winter wonderland we call Michigan.
Besides, I'll let you in on a secret.
I wasn't the craziest person out in it yesterday.
Picture this, it's cold as I mentioned, there's snow and the wind is hitting around forty miles an hour. Thankfully, I had the wind at my back. As I get downtown I see the one thing that clinches that I wasn't crazy for walking.
There on one of the main streets of Kalamazoo which is also a one way street, headed the wrong way down the street is.....a guy on a bicycle.
Yup, just when you think you've done all you can to get the crazy award, along comes some crazier bastard to snatch it from your hand.
Work was okay and I managed a little overtime which is always nice. Savannah gave me a ride home which was very nice of her.
I got home and did the dishes, made a huge steaming pot of chicken and noodles which was yummy and Martha and I put the boys' furniture back in their room. After all that busy I made a choclate cake which was a big hit and then Martha and I went to bed and watched RESIDENT EVIL:EXTINCTION. I thought it was pretty good and really would like to see how they manage to pull off another one. They left it open for one and I, for one, can not wait to see what's next. What can I say? You get gtore, zombies and the incredibly hot Milla Jovovich. Doesn't get much better than that in movie land if you ask me.

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN

Tuesday and work is, well it's work. Not too hard or challenging, but it pays me money to be out of the cold. Of course, today it wasn't cold. It's actually in the forties. The walk to work was nice because of my new mp3 player. I get to listen to Kevin Smith's Smodcast and that definitely makes the walk for me. He and Scott Mosier are pretty funny guys and they ramble about nothing for about an hour.
We have a wicked Arctic front heading this way that is supposed to make tomorrow unbearable. Yeah, they always say that. I can still remember the blizzard of 1977 vividly and the feet of snow that we got then. Haven't seen feet of snow since and it would be kind of nice to be winter locked for a few days. Oh well, what are ya gonna do?
After work Martha came and got me so we could pick up more tiles for the boys bedroom.
As God is my witness I really thought that four boxes would be more than enough to cover their bedroom. It ain't that big! Yeah, try four more boxes to finish it. So, there I am covered in floor adhesive and even got some in my beard! Blech! The floor looks nice, though. I'll let it set for a day to get a good bond and then the boys can return to their domicile.
We went and got pizza because I was up to my armpits in floor work. Little Ceasers. It's cheap and it's pizza so I guess that was alright.
After that I was pretty whipped and we hit the hay.

1/29/08

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN

Back to work and it went pretty fast. No overtime for me because of Judo. I was more than a little upset that PRISON BREAK wouldn't be on because ofn the State Of The Union address. All George W. needed to tell me was when I was getting my free money so I can spend it post haste. Needless to say, I did not watch the State Of The Union address. Judo was fun. The kids were a little busy during the adult calss so I ran roughshod over them. That was okay because we were doing line throws and I didn't feel like being thrown through the air.
After Judo we stopped at the gas station for milk and they were out! Now, this is Meijer gas station so they have a damned Meijer in the same parking lot. I wanted to tell the guy to grab and cart and get his fat ass over there and get me some milk, but I didn't.
Instead I had to navigate Meijer and then they had no gallons of Vitamin D milk?!?! What the Hell? Isn't that the milk that's the easiest to make beacuse you're not leeching all the fat, yummy goodness out of it? Why would they be out of that? So, I got a couple of half gallons and we made our way back to The Waltz Compound.
Martha got her CAsanova movie with David Tennant and what I did watch of it was very good. I've really only seen him do Doctor Who so it was hard to seperate him from the character, but it was a lot of fun. Then it was sleepy time

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN

Sunday came and we slept in and missed church. We hardly ever miss church so I didn't feel too bad about it. I started the tile the boys' room floor project and that was when the fun began. See, the box of tiles said it covered twelve feet by twelve feet square. I bought four boxes so, this should be plenty of tile to cover their whole floor, right? Wrong! I was three short on the HALF of the floor that I did get done. So, gotta go back to Big Lots for more tile. Sheesh!
We also went to see MEET THE SPARTANS which I thought was hilarious. And by us I mean the boys. The womenfolk went to see NATIONAL TREASURE 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. They said it was good. I figured I could wait for DVD release on that one.
I will say that the half, minus three tiles, of the room that is done looks magnificent so I can hardly wait to get to the other half.

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN

Once in a while we invite our buddy Chris and his girlfriend Heather over for food and stuff because, well he's the sensei of our dojo and we do stuff for his dojo and we get to have Judo lessons for free. So, we like to feed them and have them over. Another of our Judo buddies, Dawn came along and she brought her little boy, George.
The whole day was pretty much making lasagna and pasta and sald and stuff. It was pretty hectic, but it all came out okay.
Then we sat around and chatted and played Singstar on the Playstation 2. Dan The Man is awesome at the game.
After a night of pasta and wine it was time for beddy bye.

1/27/08

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN

Friday and it's payday! Whoopee! That means Harvey's On The Mall and pints of Guiness. Martha showed up to get me at three and all the kids excpet for Dan The Man were with friends so the three of us went for Chinese food before we had to go pick up Dennis to watch Dan while Martha and I went out for drinks.
Before I get too far, did I mention that I walked to work today? well, I did and about halfway there the cold really started getting to me. Now, I'm not a sissy or anything, but it was really cold! My mp3 player was in full Smodcast mode and that was cool, but I was freezing. I stopped at McDonalds for some coffee and breakfast to see if that would help. It actually made it worse. My hands were getting frozen!
I made it to work and started the warming up process. Then I went online to see what the temperature was.
Yewah it was negative two degrees! That explained a lot. The keeping warm process coupled with the walk made me useless at work, though.
Anyway, Martha and I went for drinks. We brought the new girl, Savannah and Josh from work. Josh, mastermind that he is, forgot his wallet and this was the one time they decided to card him. To be fair, she carded all of us. Josh only stayed for about an hour and then he and Ellie went to go to her dad's house.
Savannah stuck around and we had some drinks.
Then it was off for home. We had a busy day planned for tomorrow so we needed the rest.
Did I mention there was Guiness? Yup, good stuff that Guiness.

1/25/08

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND TWELVE

Can you believe how many of these things I have written? Has it really been two thirds of a year since I started this thing? well, roughly two thirds. Don't ask me to do fractions, man. It could get ugly super quick.
My friend Lina is still in the hospital and needs our prayers. I will be saying this until she is out of the hospital so get used to it.
after work the family decided to do some shopping. Martha and Delia got new bras and Delia got boots. Dan the Man got some toys and Dennis got an MP3 player.
Speaking of MP3 players, I got mine and Martha's from Overstock.com and already one of them don't work and I gotta send the damned thing back. Sheesh! The other one works great and I downloaded the recent Smodcast from Kevin Smith to listen to on my walk to work tomorrow. That's right, I got me some entertainment so I can walk my chubby butt to work everyday until the snow clears. Then I can ride my bike. Kind of sick of paying three bucks plus a gallon at the pumps so my walking and biking sort of tells big oil they can shove it. Well, I doubt that my little contribution will actually make a difference, but it makes me happy to think I'm doing something.
Martha also got her new gizmo that will enable her to transfer all the vinyl in the house to MP3's. That is so damned cool! I can hardly wait to see how it goes for her and then I will have to beg her to convert my Laurie Anderson United States Live for me. I hope the whole thing will fit on my MP3 player.
Busy day and ready for sleep and walking to work again starting tomorrow!

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND ELEVEN

Hump Day! Well, sort of. Since I didn't work Monday this is a four day work week and there isn't officially a middle day to call Hump Day, but I digress.
My friend Lina Engle that I mentioned yesterday is still on life support and still needs your prayers for her. That is really the most important thing right now. We didn't make it to Judo because of a number of reasons including the weather. Stayed home and cleaned house was the war cry for the day. Yeah! Housecleaning rules! Yeah, not really, but what are ya gonna do?
Time for the bed and the sleeping and what not.

1/23/08

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND TEN

Back to work after a three day weekend. Blech! Anyway, I managed to get a rush job done in record time. Martha and I ran some errands during lunch and that took a little longer than expected so, I'll be staying late to work tomorrow. After work we went home and finished up Dan's Pinewood Derby car. It looks pretty cool and he did most of the work on it. I would say ninety percent.
The Pinewood Derby was chaos. I got a chance to use the new video camera to tape Dan's races, well the first one. On the second one some cow in a pink coat got in the way of my shot and I missed that one. Dan didn't do well in the race, but I pointed out to him that he did more work on his car than most of the boys there. You could tell the ones where the dad brings in the shoebox and doesn't let the kid touch it. I explained to Dan that his car was infinitely better because he made it and he seemed happy with that. Plus, they had milk and cookies and he got a really cool patch for being in the race.
After that we went home to eat and catch some of American Idol. I think the trainwrecks are my favorite part.
Now for the bad news;
First Heath Ledger is dead. This really doesn't affect me in anyway except we will see how they play it out against the new Batman movie. Never was a big fan of the young man, but it's a shame that he thought it was necessary to do that to himself. Hollywood has been killing people for decades and this is just another body on the pyre.
Second, and this is waaaay more important, I got a letter from my editor over at Cult Cuts. Mark and his lovely wife, Lina, have been long distance friends of mine for a long time. Cult Cuts was the site where I started reviewing movies on the internet. They gave me my start at reviewing flicks and I was the guy who would review anything. Didn't matter what it was or what the budget was. I would watch it and give it my honest opinion. Because of me Mark got threatened with litigation and bodily violence at least a couple of times that I know of.
Anyway, Lina was found at their home and officially pronounced dead, but the paramedics, bless their souls, managed to revive her after fifteen minutes. She is not in good shape and her kidneys do not work at all. The doctors are working on her to see what the damage was and if their has been anything affecting brain function. Now, Lina is as smart and sharp as they come so, hopefully, all is well in the Engle household. But, never one to leave things to chance I would like to ask a favor from any and all of my faithful readers.
Say a prayer for Lina and for Mark and all their children. I realize that God's will is the deciding factor in all things, but in a selfish way I would like to see Lina make a full recovery and remain at the side of her loving husband, Mark. So, while I have no real right to ask this of anyone, I would like prayers said to see her get a full recovery and retain that beautiful brain of hers. Thank you if you will and I understand if you can't. She's going on the prayer list at church as is her entire family.
Last year I lost my editor and friend Larry Stanley and I really would not like to see this become some sort of trend.
I'll be back tomorrow.

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND NINE

In celebration of Martin Luther King's birthday I didn't have to go to work, but the kids did have school. That meant that after they were on the bus we were free to do what we wanted. First, there was laundry and then we went out to Water Street Coffee Shop for coffee and muffins. We played some cards while we drank our steamy beverages.
Then we ran to the store and got a new mattress for Dan's bed and some other things at Meijer. Martha found a sale on shirts for Dandelion and bought a pile of the damned things.
Then we ran back home to get Dennis' gym clothes out of the dryer and the huge box of tissues we were donating to the school. School was fun because we got to take the time to stop into each kids classroom and say hi. Actually, the only one in their classroom was Dan. Delia was off roaming the halls with her class and Dandelion was in art class.
After that we went shopping some more. We got more stuff and stopped for Chinese food. The big thing for me was the trip to Best Buy for a new video camera! We even got a spare battery and a camera case and some DV tapes. NOw we can start in on that low budget picture we planned to do.
After all that running we got home before the kids and Martha assembled a new stereo rack for our room and installed the new printer for the computer. She was on a roll and replaced the doorknobs and deadbolts for both doors as well. Needless to say we didn't make it to Judo. Ah well, it was a holiday.

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHT

Sunday and off to church. We had two baptisms today and that was cool as it always is. The heater on the baptismal was a little wonky so we had to adjust it to prevent parboiling anyone.
After church we went down the street for breakfast. After that we hit a few stores to do some shopping with the kids. I think I may officially be sick of shopping at this point.
Then it was hoem where Martha did many things around the house while I did some dinner for the family.
It started out busy and then finished with a nice calm.

1/20/08

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND SEVEN

Saturday and lots to do! We went and got new tires on the car and she runs like a dream. After that we went to Colonial Kitchen to get some breakfast/ Dan ordered blueberry pancakes and the waitress made a smiley face with cherries and a half slice of pineapple. She used the scoop of butter as a nose.
I thought that was cool and then looked away for a second. When I looked back the nose was gone and Dan had a horride face. I asked him where the butter went and he said,
"I thought it was butter."
I had to try really hard not to laugh out loud.
After breakfast we went and paid the guys at Muffler Man for the brake work. Then we went shopping! We actually took it pretty easy and didn't get out of hand or anything.
Later that night we went with our friend Dawn to a place called Wild Bull Saloon. I was happy because they had Guiness on tap. We sat at this thing that surrounded the mechanical bull. Dawn kept getting Martha to try it and she finally did. She liked it and she was very good at it. When she fell she even remembered to slap like we do when we take Judo falls. Our sensei would be proud.
Man, the place was crowded! I had so many women pressed up against me that I felt a little naughty, but I wasn't. One young lady fell in love with Martha's long hair and my bald head. If she wasn't sroking Martha's long hair she was rubbing my bald head. Then she made us do the group hug thing. Like I said...friendly. She also informed us that she was not drunk. Yeah, that's pretty much a sign she was wasted.
There were some big women that got on the bull and I started feeling sorry for the poor thing.
On one of my last trips to the bar for a Guiness a lady decided she need to touch my beard. I get that a lot so I let her have a go at it. She was pretty lit as well.
There was a almost fight that never got going. The place is huge. It has three bars and a couple of spots where you can buy beers and there was a live band and a mechanical bull. The place was busy.
I did think it was odd that the band played The Violent Femmes 'Blister In The Sun'. I even got a laugh when I yelled,
"That ain't no Hank Williams Jr. song!"
The woman to man ratio in the place was about four or five to one.
Dandelion called once to tell me she threw up but she was fine and just wanted to sleep downstairs. I told her to go ahead. Conversations were held in the bathroom otherwise I coudn't hear the phone.
A little after midnight we made our way to where we parked the car and it was cold! If it wasn't covered my clothing or beard it felt like it was burning.
We made our way home and hit the hay. Had to get up early tomorrow for church.

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND SIX

Friday and good news. Martha called me to let me know that my W-2 arrived. So, I made an appointment to get the taxes done. After work we headed home for a while and then went to get the taxes done. We got a tidy sum back and they put it all on a Master Card debit card. Kind of handy. The two big kids were at a friends house so we just had the littles. We went out and had some Applebees for dinner and then went home to get some sleep. It was getting really crappy outside so I'm glad we went home.
Called it a night early and got some sleep.

1/18/08

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND FIVE

So, my morning was off to a rousing start. I woke up and didn't hear my alarm clock so I thought I could sleep some more, so I did. Yeah, then I woke up again and thought to myself, "Five thirty is looking awfully damned bright." I grabbed my glasses and the glowing, orange numbers on the cable box told me it was seven thirty. CRAP!
I launched myself from bed and woke up all the kids. Martha and I managed to get the littles to the bus on time and then Dennis and I went to our respective places. He and I were both late.
While I was getting ready, Miss Katie from work, called the house thinking I was dead in a ditch. You see, I am never, ever late for work. Oh sure, maybe a few minutes here and occasionally there, but this was well over an hour. I called the boss and told her what had happened and she thought it was funny.
So, what did happen?
See, my alarm clock is broken, but the computer is in our room and we found this online thingie called The Naked Alarm Clock. No, there's no naked, it's just a simple, stripped down alarm clock. Problem is that the damnable device defaults to PM instead of AM. Who needs help getting up in the PM???
So, my entire day felt weird, especially the part where I missed my shower. And then I was stuck at work until five to make up the time.
After work, Martha, Dan and Dandelion came and picked me up. Dan had bought himself a motorcycle helmet and has taken to wearing it all the time. He is truly The Man. We stopped and grabbed some pizza for home and I ate too much and ended up with these godawful pizza burps all night because of it.
After that I burnt some movies and watched some television and we called it a night. At least tomorrow is Friday and I have a three day weekend.

1/17/08

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND FOUR

MIddle of the week and still training on the new machine. If you can call it training. I find excuses to go do other stuff while the trainer is there. I can't sit still for this kind of thing and since we have a print shop to run there are plenty of excuses to run off.
After work we all headed to our Wednesday night Judo thingie. I felt a little tired so I didn't put a lot of effort into it and after smacking my head on Monday, line throws were defintiely out for me.
Afterwards we headed home. On the way to the dojo the car was acting up. I popped the hood and discovered that some of the hoses were not attachjed properly and a 1981 Cutlass don't like to work if it ain't all attached properly. While the kids were doing their class I put it all back together with the exception of one thing that Martha said she would take care of.
Then it was home for sleepy time.

1/16/08

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND THREE

More work and today we are learning a new program for the new black and white machine. Well, as soon as they get the programming bugs worked out I'll learn the new machine. Seems that by the time that happened it was time for me to go! Hurray! Seann and Dennis picked me up and we went to Young's to get something for Seann. A belated birthday present if you will. He got a set of steel throwing knives that he really liked.
Then I got home to a house full of teenagers. Dennis and Delia had their friwends over and with Seann that made a house full. I cooked a huge quantity of vittles for everyone and then half the little bastards didn't even eat! Grrrrrrrrrr!
Anyway, later Martha wanted candy bars so we took a trip to Big Rock Phillips 66 to score some sweet treats for her and a caffeine free diet Coke for me. What can I say? I'm a party animal.
I installed Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop on the computer and burnt a couple of flicks before hitting the hay. Couldn't fall asleep right away and I will be paying for this in the morning. Yippee!

DAY ONE HUNDRED AND TWO

Monday, Monday. New week, new temp at work. This one seems like she will actually work out. It only stings a little that I'm older than her,...MOM! Yeah, you heard me right. Older than her mom. Sheesh! Other than that work was work. I finally finished up that huge project I was doing and I can do little, insignificant jobs for a while. More fun to get four or five things done in a day as opposed to a little chunk of one big job. Of course I was informed that the next big job will be this summer and instead of twenty or thirty books, there will be....TWO HUNDRED OF THE DAMNED THINGS!!! Again, I'm gonna have to go with Sheesh!
After work the Waltzes made their way to the dojo for more fun Judo. It was fun. Seann came along and had a good time as well.
Then it was home to the new episode of Prison Break. I can't help it, I'm hooked. The show keeps getting me everytime I watch it. I wouldn't care if it went on for ten years as long as they could keep this level of suspense and intrigue up.
Then, busy day over I went to bed. Tired.

1/15/08

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND ONE

Had to leave The Waltz Compound early today because we had to pick up Dennis, Delia and Seann from where they were at to go to church. It was nice having Seann come to church. I think that I'll just make him come along unless he gets a job where he can't make it. Since he's currently unemployed that shouldn't be a problem.
Church was good. There is some progress being made on the men's room. It's been out of commission for a little while, but Ryan put in the new floor so next up is insulation and drywall. I always joke that I am helping by not being there. You really don't want me to be in on the construction if you want it to be done correctly.
After church we went out to B7G Warehouse and the kids blew some of their money on stuff. We wanted to go to Young's Army Surplus, but they were closed.
Went home and had some yummy food and watched some television. I watched all the extras on ANTENA CRIMINAL and that was cool.
Then it was back to church for youth group. Martha, Dandelion and I did a separate study on the Dead Sea Scrolls and learned a little about that. I brought another Templar book for Sam to read.
Then it was home for rest and getting ready for bed. Busy day and we seemed to be running everywhere. I was glad for the couple of hours of down time to watch my Franco flick. I really appreciated that.

1/14/08

DAY TWO HUNDRED

Wow! Another milestone in the blog! Two hundred posts and still going strong. Saturday and Martha, Dandelion and I went on a grocery shop to get all the essentials for the next couple of weeks. We also went and got insurance for the beast. It's nice to have the car running better, not perfect, but definitely better. We also made a trip to the bread store to stock up. The little food grubbers loves them some carbs.
Seann came over and that was nice. We played a little Dungeons and Dragons and I had fun with it. Later Seann went honme and Dennis and Delia went over to Josh and Mariah's house. They are all buddies from school and they stayed over there for the night.
That left Martha, Dan and Dandelion with me to watch Santa's Slay with Bill Goldberg. Funny, funny movie.
It was a nice day and pretty laid back. Good stuff.

1/12/08

DAY ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY-NINE

Friday and payday! Went to work and stopped to fill up the beast with gas. Yeah, that was another sixty bucks down the tubes. Sheesh! Then around 8:30 Martha came and got me and we went to take the car to get it fixed. The cool cats at Muffler Man deferred the payment until we get our income tax refund in the near future. Nice guys for sure. Martha and I walked back. We parted at Wets Main and Douglas and she went home while I went back to work.
After work Josh, Martha and I went to Harvey's to have some drinks. Josh's girlfriend Ellie joined us. I convinced Johs to saty away from the piss water of Bud Light and got him to drink some Bell's White Winter Ale. He liked it enough to have about five of them. Martha drank her traditional Captain Morgan and Sierra Mist and I started out with a Winter White Ale and then in the two seconds it took to down that light beer I switched to pints of Guiness. We had some yummy deep fried snacks and Ellie smoked a cigar. She let me smoke some of it as well. After about three pints we noticed an ad for something called Arrogant Bastard Ale. Seemed like I was going to try this beer. Yeah, the bottle was huge and the beer had quite a bite to it. Other than thsat it wasn't all that special. I washed the taste out of my mouth with some more yummy Guniness.
Then Ellie was our designated driver and went home where Seann was there. We yakked it up for a bit and then he took off and we all made our ways to bed. It was fun going out and Martha had fun as well which was cool. We'll have to do it again in the future.

1/11/08

DAY ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY-EIGHT

Went to work. We were low on gas so I decided to hike to work. Seemed like a good idea. It's pretty cold outside and most of the downtown dwelling freaks tend to stay inside where it's warm or at least stick to warm air vents throughout the city. I had my walkman on and was blaring Eurotrash pop music all the way there.
I get downtown and, sure enough, some guy comes up to me and says;
"I'm homeless and hungry can you buy me some food for my birfday."
See how I spelled 'birthday' there? It ain't a misspelling. And I'm pretty sure that this guy wasn't having his birthday. Usually the beggars leave me alone because one, big white guy with a beard looks like a biker and two, well I had headphones on and shouldn't be able to hear them.
I told him that I had no cash and kept moving.
Work was work, nothing there to tell. We're getting a new temp who has a name like a porn star. Savannah Draper. Porn star or not? You decide. I'll keep everyone abreast (yeah, that was a pun.) of the situation here.
Walked home and it was hailing this ice that was shaped like little ice half spheres. If you took a perfectly round piece of ice and split it down the middle, this is what these things looked like. Kind of cool if you ask me.
Went home and made black beans and brown rice for dinner.
After wards Martha and I watched my new flick I got in the mail. It's a documentary about Jess Franco called ANTENA CRIMINAL. It was awesome to say the least.
Busy day and tomorrow will be busier.

1/10/08

DAY ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY-SEVEN

So, my alarm clock died the other day. I did find this online alram clock that works pretty well. Martha told me to turn it up all the way so I could hear it. Yeah, that was a little too loud. It went off and scared all the dogs. It was actually pretty funny.
I did my Qigong, hpped in the shower and then got ready to go to work. I started the car to give it warm up time and then was just sort of waiting on Martha to take me to work. And then it got a little later and she still had not descended from the upstairs. I decided I had better see what the hold up was.
There she was on the bedroom floor doing something with Rufus' new tank that we got him last Saturday at the Reptile Show.
Rufus' is our pet corn snake and it seems that he managed to get to the top of the tank and get stuck to a piece of duct tape that was up there. See, the tank had a small hole in the back and we didn't want him to escape so, I used some tape to seal the hole. I had no idea that snakes stuck to duct tape. And he was stuck on there good. So, sweating bullets we used little scissors and carefully cut away as much tape as we could without bothering the snake. He still has a little tape on him, but thankfully, snakes shed their skin quite often so, the tape should be gone in the near future.
What a way to start a morning.
Wait, it gets better.
Martha and Dan went to scouts this afternoon and I walked down there to meet them. Martha was ticked! Seems that she went to pick up Dennis and he didn't come out there to meet him as he always did. Fearing the worst, she left and went to get Dan. Then she found out that Dennis had decided out of the blue to stay after school to help tutor his friend. Yeah, kinda picked a bad day for that one. Martha says he's grounded for life. So, when I got to the meeting she had to run back home to meet Dandelion getting off the bus. By then Dennis was home and goofing off. She put him to work and brought Dandelion back to the scout meeting.
Delia was going to a friend's house and she was supposed to call when she got there. She didn't and now she's in trouble as well. Scouts was fun. The boys got to make bubble gum racers and they raced them down this makeshift ramp that the guys put together.
After Scouts we ran hiome for a quick bite to eat and then it was off to Judo. Judo was fun, but the kids acted like jerks when it wasn't their turn on the mat. Fun, fun!
After Judo we went home and everyone who was hungry ate something while the rest of us got ready for bed. Martha and I watched SHOOT 'EM UP for bed. I really like that flick.

DAY ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY-SIX

Tuesday and another all day at work thing. I set up a nice pork roast and had Dennis put it in the oven when he got home from school. By the time I got home the house smelled wonderful. I did up the dishes and then we got into eating yummy food and watching television.
After that I played for a while on my Resevoir Dogs game and there is this one driving level that is making me crazy! Oh well, if I beat it all in a day what fun would that be, right?

1/8/08

DAY ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY-FIVE

I have the best wife in the whole world. Today is her birthday and the kids and I got her the best present she could ever ask for. The kids went to school and I went to work. She had the house to herself to do what she wanted when she wanted to. I also ordered her a new pit pack. A pit pack is a bag of cherry pits that you microwave and they retain the heat and the pits rubbed against your skin through their cloth bag feels quite nice.
But that isn't the reason I have the best wife in the world.
Yesterday, I was pretty ticked about author Brian Keene having nothing better to do than bash me on his blog. See yesterday's blog for a full update. When I told her about it her response was;
"Why do you care?"
I was immediately dumbfounded. Why did I care? Maybe because he was getting his facts wrong and I really don't like being called names. Then she said something else.
"How many sites do you write for?"
Well, this seemed off the beaten path of what I was complaining about, but then I took a moment to tick them all off in my head;
There is Askew Reviews, Exploitation Retrospect, Beyond The Groovy Age Of Horror, Cult Cuts, B-Independent, Divine Exploitation, Penguin Comics and a few others that friends would invite me to lend my meager expertise in films to.
Then she said;
"How many people do you think read what you write in total from all the places you write for?" And before I could respond she added, "And that doesn't include the fiction that you write that has been published and you publish yourself."
Hmmm, that would probably be quite a lot. See, I primarily write about film. I'm the guy who watches that micro budget crap so a lot of people don't have to. I also discover gems in the rough and recommend them to people all over the world. I'm a minor expert in the films of Jess Franco. I'm no Tim Lucas, but I know the difference between Soledad Miranda and Lina Romay. I get to see films like CHOKING HAZARD before the general public. An awesome film by the way. Hunt it down and watch it as soon as you can. You won't be sorry.
So, as I mentioned before, I have the best wife in the world. So what if I don't fit in the narrow concept of what Brian Keene deems famous? So what? In the end I get to write what I want and sometimes it gets published and I make a couple of bucks. When it comes to film reviews and interviews I always get published. Sometimes for free, sometimes for screeners. And if you consider that I usually sell most of my screeners on Amazon it's not a bad way to make a couple of bucks doing something I like to do.
And then my wife said one last thing that really drove it home for me.
"I don't even know who Brian Keene is. He's not important."
I have the best wife in the world.
Yesterday I made up a fake email so I could post comments on Brian Keene's blog. It worked because my harmless comment got posted. Now I can see what a waste of time it was. So, I'm off to write reviews and things that I'm working on for me and whoever wants to read it.
I finished the first draft of a humor piece called My Vasectomy. A couple more polishes and it should look pretty good and damn funny. My chapbook The Penultimate MAchinations OF Fu Manchu is done and off to my cover artist Linc Polderman to work his infinite magic. Now I have to start working on the next one entitled Two Fisted Cthulu Tales. It's kind of a sequel to The Shadow Over Innsmouth if it had been printed in a men's adventure magazine from the 40's crossed with Toho Godzilla movies. Should be fun.
So, no more Hail Saten blog for me. Because who is Brian Keene anyway? And I have the best wife in the world.
I love you Martha.

1/7/08

DAY ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY-THREE

Sunday. Day of rest and worship. Day of relaxing and taking it easy.
Yeah, then I read Brian Keene's blog. For those of you that are new to the blog, seems that I irritated Brian Keene in some way and he decided to take to name calling and making false and derogatory assumptions about me on his blog. At first, this really ticked me off. Then I let it go. If you go back to day 171 here you can see that I was finished. I posted that on December 15th of last year.
Yeah, it seems that Mr. Keene had a dull day and decided that he wasn't finished with me.
The following, in quotation marks, is the sole property of Brian Keene with all the legal mumbo jumbo that goes with that.

"There was a writer who showed up on my message board about a month before we shut it down. Despite having never heard of the guy, and despite not being able to find anything in print by him, we all knew he was a writer because his screen name said so. Because I don't want to give him attention, we'll call him Nitwit #1 (and you'll see why I don't want to give him attention in a moment). Nitwit #1 had himself a Blog. He posted a new entry every single day for an entire year, and had absolutely no comments. Frustrated, Nitwit #1 decided to create some controversy and thus, gain some readers to his Blog. He did this by starting shit on the message board. When I mentioned it in passing here, he posted an entry about how he was dedicating his Blog to fucking with me, and each day would contain a new entry about how evil Brian Keene is. He also spammed the comments section of this Blog, inviting myself and everyone else to come visit his Blog. Of course, Big Joe did not approve those comments. And when, after a few days, he still had absolutely no readers, do you know what Nitwit #1 did?

He let the whole thing drop, and hasn't mentioned me again.

This type of desperation that drives our first type of nitwit. Here's the thing, kids. You can have a Blog and an LJ and MySpace and Facebook pages, and a website and message board and profile at Author's Den. You can flood the message boards at Amazon.com, Fangoria, Dread Central, Horror World, and elsewhere with spam for your self-published book or latest Lulu.com offering. You can run around and call yourself "best-seller" or whatever other lie you want to tell. But unless you've written a good book, none of that matters. Your prose, whether good or bad, is the great equalizer, and in the end, that's all they'll remember."

Okay, first he makes an assumption that I'm a wannabe writer. I do write, quite a lot, in fact, but realize that I am far from being what anyone would call famous. I have fun writing and it does nothing to pay the bills. Therefore, I would call my writing a hobby at best. And I have fun at this. Second, he thinks I'm drumming up business for this blog. Um, the statement to the right tells you all the rationale for this blog. I'm just chronicling a year in the life. I'm not doing it for anyone but myself. There are a few people who read it, but it really doesn't lend itself well to comments. To be honest, I didn't even have the comments on for the first few months because I didn't realize that I needed to program that myself.
The controversy I created was no ones fault but Mr. Keene and his friends. I assume that the people who run his message boards are his friends. Who knows? If you go back to day 165 or so it will chronicle the entire, messy affair for you. I feel no reason to reiterate the entire thing again.
So, I was finished with this and Mr. Keene brings it up weeks later for really no good reason. Maybe he just felt it necessary to have the last word. Beats me. If that's what makes him happy then so be it. Being a first time father as well as trying to quit smoking can be more than enough stress for many people so, he might just be fraying at the edges. Once again, I make no assumptions, unlike Mr. Keene. I have no idea what his current condition at home is nor do I really care anymore.
I felt it was necessary to air this out because I thought it was unnecessarily cruel to bring something up that I had considered a dead issue.
Part of me would like an apology. The saner part of me realizes that this will never happen. I will continue to read his blog and continue to comment on it. He will continue to read my comments and not put them in his blog. That's his right and I respect it no matter how one sided it makes things.

So, after church, we went home and cleaned house. I got to play Yahtzee with Martha and I watched a horrid movie called King Of Kong Island. You would think I would learn not to buy these dollar DVDs anymore. Must be some kind of sickness.

DAY ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY-TWO

Still feel a little under the weather so I took it real easy just lying around The Waltz Compound. At noon Martha and the littles and I went to the reptile show at the county fairgrounds. That was fun seeing all the reptiles and this time they even had birds. I would like another bird in the future, but we will have to see how that goes. Other than that all was peaceful at the house.

1/5/08

DAY ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY-ONE

Okay, woke up and knew that I was sick. I called Josh and asked him to open for me. Good guy that Josh. He opened the store and I went back to sleep until eleven or so. Dandelion was a gem and brought me ice water and toast. Good girl, that Dandelion.
Did as little as possible and ate when I was hungry. Took it damned easy and didn't do a whole lot.
Watched some movies, corresponded on the computer with the gang and Eurotrash Paradise and took it very, very easy.
Watched season two of Animaniacs, that was fun.
Tired of being sick.

DAY ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY

That damned bag of salt kicked my ass.

I woke up to the world's stiffest neck and my legs hurt to beat the band. It was a short work week so I knew I could make it. The cold is still lingering and I feel like crud. Nevertheless, I suited up and made my jog to work.
Man, it was cold! I stopped at McDonalds to get shitty coffee it was so cold. When I got to work I checked the temperature outside. Yeah, no wonder it was cold. It was seven degrees out. Thankfully, I am the master of layering clothing so I felt little of it except around my parts of the face that don't have beard. So, not much.
Made it through work agaian and then started back home.
Home was quiet and I took it as easy as possible. Felt like crap.

1/3/08

DAY ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-NINE

So, five o'clock in the morning comes pretty early in these parts. Got up and layered my clothing properly and put on two pairs of socks. Got out my old scarf and I was bundled and ready to go. We had gotten a lot of snow. The kind you measure in feet. Well, maybe a foot and a half, but that's still a lot. Thankfully the roads were plowed and the traffic was nonexistent. Unfortunately, it was too damned quiet so tomorrow I'll bring a CD player. I have got to get me one of those MP3 players. Probably when I get paid next week. I do like when the world is covered in white, fluffy snow. It takes all the rough edges off the planet and makes everything look clean and white.
Now, if I could get rid of this horrid head cold and what appears to be inflamed sinus condition. Hurts to breathe through my nose and it's giving me a mother of a headache. A headache right behind my face. Blech!
Work was slow motion. Josh and I gave Tracie her belated Christmas present and she loved it. I was glad that she hadn't gotten it already for Christmas. That would have sucked.
After work I wanted Martha to come and get me so we could go to the store and get the much needed groceries for the house. Yeah, that didn't happen. The ski ramp commonly known as our drive way had been shoveled by the boys, but they didn't quite get it. Dan The Man worked his seven year old butt off, but Dennis finished it in slacker fashion. You'd think he was a teenager or something. On my trek home I picked up a bag of salt to cover the driveway with. Now, you would think that a measly little twenty five pound bag of salt would be no big deal. I mean I bought it at Felpausch and then it's only about a mile and a half home. Surely, a big, burly forty-five year old like myself would have no problem with this task.

That damned bag of salt kicked my ass.

Every few steps I had to stop and rearrange the thing and it kept getting heavier. But, I was on a mission and refused to stop. Thankfully, I had the foresight to buy a bottle of water while I was at the store and that helped quite a bit. The oddest thing was that I felt better out in the cold hauling this dead weight back to The Waltz Compound then I did all day. My headache was gone, my sinuses didn't hurt and, apart from being slightly winded, I felt pretty damned good. Weird, huh?
After I finally made it home I salted the driveway and started the beast. Martha, Dandelion, two of the dogs and I made our way to Sav-A-Lot. Dandy and I did all the shopping and I thought we managed to do a good job. I made everyone mini pizzas for dinner except for me. I had chips and salsa and sardines packed in mustard. Man, those things are good. Kind of a bonus that they are good for you. We watched Balls OF Fury and it was pretty funny.
Then it was time to hit the hay. I did manage to get my qigong workout in there which was nice and I feel asleep to Michael Legge's HONEY GLAZE. A truly funny flick.

I am going to be sore tomorrow. Mark my words.

1/2/08

DAY ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-EIGHT

I kind of had a cold yesterday. Yeah, now it sucks and I feel like doody. Add a winter storm warning for the area and it looks like we aren't going anywhere anytime soon. For a while it was clear and I thought it would be a good time to make it to the store, but no such luck. As bad as I felt, Martha felt worse so, that was a no go. Later she told me to order pizza from the local guys, Pizza Masters. We got two pizzas and some breadsticks and some soda to go with our pizza. It was the best thing I had eaten all day and it made me feel a little better. My nose is sore, I have a cough and probablya little bit of a fever to boot. There was an all day MONK marathon so that kept us amused. I read the end of this old pulp sci fi book that I need to review for Curt's blog, probably tomorrow. I have already steeled myself to the task that tomorrow I will be walking to work. Need more exercise, especially when I feel like crap. Today I did my qigong and then discovered that our cable has free exercise in it's On Demand categories and that it's free. I did a low impact workout and it kicked my butt. Probably because I am sick. Oh well, time to get some sleep then the death march to work. Yippee!

DAY ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-SEVEN

New Year's Eve. Yeah, we spent a lot of time at home doing very little. Watched some television, read a little, spent time with Martha and the kids. That was about it. Then we all realized we were starving and Martha wanted to go someplace with sit down service so it was off to Applebee's. Yeah, I know it's a chain restaurant, but we all like it. I was disappointed that they had taken my favorite comfort food off the menu. Chicken Fried Chicken with garlic mashed potatoes, but what are you gonna do. They did have Bell's Two Hearted Ale and we had a nice waitress with a cute British accent so, that was fun. Dan thought it was cool that his root beer came in a bottle and he pretended it was beer. He cracks me up.
Afterwards we made our way out to church to celebrate the New YEar coming in. There was a service and singing and Dean played his dulcimer. That part was really cool. Then it started to snow and it was getting nasty outside and the kids were creeping into jerk town. They got a little too rambunctious. The food was good though as it always is.
We made our way home and I got my annual top ten list of films done for Penguin Comics. afterwards I realized that I forgot two films so I'll have to go back and add them into the mix, but what are ya gonna do? Then it was the countdown to midnight. Delia was the only kid still awake. Dick CLark looked awful, but good for him to have the cajones to still do the show.
I have made a series of resolutions for the upcomign year, but refuse to list them to prevent jinxing the whole affair. Wish me luck, faithful readers.